We’re Getting Self-Care Wrong: what it is and what it isn’t
You’ve heard it. I’ve heard it. The therapist that asks at the end of a session “And how will you take care of yourself this week?” As a therapist myself, most often I get the answer, “I don’t know. It sounds like one more thing I don’t have time for.” In pop culture, self care looks a lot like bubble baths and wellness products. In our day-to-day lives, “self care” often defaults to detaching and binge watching shows or scrolling on Tik Tok.
Let’s reset that story.
What Self-Care Is
At its core, self-care is about nurturing your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. It's an ongoing process of paying attention to your needs and taking deliberate actions to maintain or improve your health and happiness. It’s not a one-size-fits-all formula; it’s deeply personal and can look different for everyone. Here are some key aspects of self-care:
Mindful Self-Awareness: Self-care starts with understanding yourself, which is harder than it sounds. It means slowing down enough to recognize your stressors, emotions, and needs. It’s about tuning in to what you need to feel balanced and fulfilled. This awareness can guide you in making choices that align with your well-being.
Setting Boundaries: One of the most important aspects of self-care is setting healthy boundaries. This could be in your relationships, at work, or with your time. It’s about knowing your limits and being assertive about them. Boundaries protect your energy and help maintain your mental health.
Prioritizing Rest and Recovery: True self-care involves acknowledging when you need to rest. It’s not just about the occasional indulgence but about making sure you’re not running on empty. This could mean getting enough sleep, taking breaks, or even seeking professional support when needed.
Engaging in Activities That Bring Joy: Whether it’s a hobby, spending time with loved ones, or enjoying a peaceful walk, engaging in activities that bring you joy is a vital part of self-care. These activities recharge your emotional batteries and contribute to overall happiness.
Practicing Self-Compassion: Self-care means being kind to yourself, especially during tough times. It involves treating yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend. This can include forgiving yourself for mistakes and not being overly critical of your shortcomings.
What Self-Care Isn’t
With all the marketing and social media hype around self-care, it’s easy to get caught up in what it isn’t. Here are some common misconceptions:
Self-Care Isn’t Self-Indulgence: While treating yourself occasionally is part of self-care, it shouldn’t be confused with self-indulgence. Self-care is not about escaping responsibilities or overindulging in temporary pleasures. It’s about sustainable practices that contribute to your overall well-being.
Self-Care Isn’t a One-Time Fix: Self-care is not a quick fix or a one-time event. It’s an ongoing practice that requires regular attention. A single bubble bath or shopping spree won’t solve deeper issues or replace the need for ongoing self-care.
Self-Care Isn’t Selfish: Taking time for yourself is not selfish; it’s necessary. Many people feel guilty for prioritizing their own needs, but self-care is essential for maintaining the capacity to support and care for others effectively.
Self-Care Isn’t About Perfection: There’s no perfect way to practice self-care. It’s about finding what works for you and being flexible. It’s okay to have days when self-care looks different or when you struggle to implement your routine.
Self-Care Isn’t a Substitute for Professional Help: While self-care is important, it shouldn’t replace professional mental health support when needed. Therapy, counseling, or medical treatment can be essential components of a holistic self-care plan.
Finding Your Self-Care Balance
Getting self-care right means finding a balance that works for you. It involves listening to your needs, setting boundaries, and making time for activities that nourish your soul. It’s a personal journey, and what works for one person might not work for another. The key is to approach self-care with intention, kindness, and flexibility.
Remember, self-care is not a luxury but a necessity. By understanding what it truly involves and avoiding common misconceptions, you can cultivate a self-care practice that supports a healthier, happier you. So take a moment to reflect on your needs and adjust your self-care routine accordingly. Your well-being deserves it.
Cultivate Counseling Group is a therapy practice in North Center, Chicago. If you’re looking to get better at self care and need support from a therapist, contact us to ask questions, inquire about availability, or schedule an appointment. You can also reach out directly to hello@cultivatecounselinggroup.com.
